Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .
You can not just say this without dropping the whole story
Ok so,
My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.
The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn’t read the things written by Hand, because he wasn’t wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he’s like:
“Oh, sorry sir you can’t do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)”
The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen’t take the document with him.
The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:
This is a robbery
*Citibank voice* robbery is now only available with a $20 transaction fee or if you upgrade your account to premium
“But where’s that light coming from” BITCH IT’S FANTASY WHO CARES
Ok but also from a like, theatrical storytelling perspective, there’s a thing called “willful suspension of disbelief” which is basically the concept that in order to let ourselves be immersed and enjoy a story, we need to turn off our knowledge that it’s all fake anyway.
like yes, we all *know* it’s unrealistically bright for a night time war, but it needs to be so we can SEE the story being told, and the lighting designer used blue light to show it was night time. We KNOW that Sir Ian isn’t actually a wizard but we SUSPEND that DISBELIEF because we want to be entertained.
theres the moon, theres the stars, in this fantasy world the stars might be four times as bright or there might be two moons
or, considering this is a land without electric lights, its assumed that everyones eyes, including those of the viewers, have adjusted enough to the darkness that yes normal ass moon and stars provide sufficient illumination to actually see that the elf king is not wearing sweatpants like youd be able to tell or who the hell was that who just got stabbed thats kind of an important detail in an action scene
Elijah Wood said he brought this up with Andrew Lesnie, cinematographer on LOTR, once and asked him where the light was coming from in a particular scene, and Lesnie just smiled and said “same place as the music”.
Do you ever think about how staggeringly in bad taste it is that Gandalf brought a firework that turns into Smaug to Bilbo’s birthday party
Like how were you hoping that would go
*gandalf voice* so bilbo lived to be 111 huh? it would be a shame if someone or something caused him to go into c a r d i a c a r r e s t
Gandalf: I’m still not a hundred percent sure that magic ring is artificially extending Bilbo’s life, so let’s run some tests.
i would note that bilbo was the only person at the party not even slightly alarmed, so possibly gandalf just knows him well
“You know what would be the greatest gift I could give Bilbo on his 111th birthday? Making Lobelia and Otho Sacksville-Baggins shit their pants at the party.”
Hello. I'm not using my real name due to unfortunate relatives of mine who are not on… Lea Kane needs your support for Get Us Out Of This Dumpster Fire House
Hello. I’m not using my real name due to unfortunate relatives of
mine who are not only not of any help but would likely verbally or
financially abuse myself and my parents, which should already tell you a
lot about this situation. The house we are currently living in has been
broken down for years, with no real means of contacting the landlord
and constant refusal of said landlord to do anything about it, with the
courts inevitably being of no use. Recently, a hole has developed on our
ceiling, which probably makes the place extremely condemnable, but
given it takes roughly $800 of my dad’s paltry $1000 social security to
just rent the place and all of my own money goes to other bills, it’s
also currently inescapable save for eviction, which would leave us
completely homeless. It’s a lose-lose sort of situation.
Now, we have made attempts to save what little we could– the
stimulus checks, pathetic as they were, gave us some hope– but, to
quote the Castlevania cartoon, God constantly shits in our dinner with
sudden medical expenses or car breakdowns, usually leaving us right back
where we started. I, for one, am sick of it, and my parents have opted
to be utterly useless in their misery, so I’m turning to the internet
for help.
(Yes, I do plan to leave them once we get into a new house. My own
escape route is reasonably secure, but nobody wants to see their parents
and cats starve on the street. I’m pissed, not heartless.)
The $10,000 dollar goal is enough to pay for closing, downpayments,
and moving fees, which is all we ultimately need to escape this dismal
circumstance– the houses we are looking at are cheap, but nice, and
their payments and utilites combined wouldn’t be as much as JUST the
rent on the house with a hole in the roof and no shower. I won’t
complain if we pass our goal, but we must at least meet it or we’re
screwed. Any amount you can spare will be a big help.
Thank You,
Lea Kane
Please consider helping my friend Lea with a donation or a reblog, Lea who is a treasure, a gem, a brilliant mad bastard, a wonderful content creator, and my little sister to boot!!
Thank you all so much for nearly hitting 1000! Unfortunately I have been
fired due to the holidays being over and Walmart not wanting to keep
someone who’s close to full time, so if anything your donations have
become more important– particularly as unemployment is currently being a
brat about letting me sign up.
I appreciate your support!
I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin’ quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was “this big,” and I said “that’s disgusting,” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you’ve got a small dick, It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! That’s right, baby, tall points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the Earth! That’s right, this is what you get: my SUPER LASER PISS!!Except I’m not gonna piss on the Earth, I’m gonna go higher!! I’m pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!
Happy one year anniversary to the video that gave us this improvised gem.
Happy 2nd anniversary to Eggman pissing on the moon
Happy 3rd anniversary to Eggman pissing on the moon
Hello. I'm not using my real name due to unfortunate relatives of mine who are not on… Lea Kane needs your support for Get Us Out Of This Dumpster Fire House
Hello. I’m not using my real name due to unfortunate relatives of
mine who are not only not of any help but would likely verbally or
financially abuse myself and my parents, which should already tell you a
lot about this situation. The house we are currently living in has been
broken down for years, with no real means of contacting the landlord
and constant refusal of said landlord to do anything about it, with the
courts inevitably being of no use. Recently, a hole has developed on our
ceiling, which probably makes the place extremely condemnable, but
given it takes roughly $800 of my dad’s paltry $1000 social security to
just rent the place and all of my own money goes to other bills, it’s
also currently inescapable save for eviction, which would leave us
completely homeless. It’s a lose-lose sort of situation.
Now, we have made attempts to save what little we could– the
stimulus checks, pathetic as they were, gave us some hope– but, to
quote the Castlevania cartoon, God constantly shits in our dinner with
sudden medical expenses or car breakdowns, usually leaving us right back
where we started. I, for one, am sick of it, and my parents have opted
to be utterly useless in their misery, so I’m turning to the internet
for help.
(Yes, I do plan to leave them once we get into a new house. My own
escape route is reasonably secure, but nobody wants to see their parents
and cats starve on the street. I’m pissed, not heartless.)
The $10,000 dollar goal is enough to pay for closing, downpayments,
and moving fees, which is all we ultimately need to escape this dismal
circumstance– the houses we are looking at are cheap, but nice, and
their payments and utilites combined wouldn’t be as much as JUST the
rent on the house with a hole in the roof and no shower. I won’t
complain if we pass our goal, but we must at least meet it or we’re
screwed. Any amount you can spare will be a big help.
Thank You,
Lea Kane
Please consider helping my friend Lea with a donation or a reblog, Lea who is a treasure, a gem, a brilliant mad bastard, a wonderful content creator, and my little sister to boot!!
Thank you all so much for nearly hitting 1000! Unfortunately I have been
fired due to the holidays being over and Walmart not wanting to keep
someone who’s close to full time, so if anything your donations have
become more important– particularly as unemployment is currently being a
brat about letting me sign up.
I appreciate your support!
I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.
I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”
And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”
“Do you now.”
“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”
“Oh, and why’s that?”
“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”
“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”
